i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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