I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know