So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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