just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?