Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And then my night got REAL pukey
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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