Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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