u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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