Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
