Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
