You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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