it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
