only if we run a train.
done.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
