Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Welp...herpes.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
