its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
