what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
and you fell through a lawn chair
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
