return my video game
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
