I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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