I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
