Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
