So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
