please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
