so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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