Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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