So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
