bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
