there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
