Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
