I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I will be naked everywhere
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
