OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
