you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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