she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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