yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
