You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
