Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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