Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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