I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
