If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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