I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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