he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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