No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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