This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
