What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize