Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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