Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
