i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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