Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize