I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
