...so i touched it.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
