i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
