The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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