She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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