just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you traded sex for a burrito?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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