Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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