I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
