I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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