YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
