omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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