How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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