i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We left the knife in your bed.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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