Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I had to cum in my sink.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
