I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
