just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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