If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
