Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I see more hoeing in ur future
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