Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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