Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think your dad took our porno
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
