I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends