all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
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He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
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I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Strip Simon Says: DO IT