bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
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I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
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He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.