you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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