I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Vodka?
Forever.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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