my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
