Who did Billy Mays play for?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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