i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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