"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
