We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
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